Issue #8 – Thursday, July 10, 2014
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION – It’s likely that at some point in your life you’ll encounter a number of conspiracy theories. For the good of the land, we want YOU to be able to get in on the fun – create your own conspiracies to share with your friends! Post them on the Internet and Facebook – who has time for fact checking? In no time, YOU will have a following of true believers, but only if YOU YOURSELF have the strength to truly BELIEVE!
SECRET SOCIETY CONSPIRACY THEORY MAD LIB
Secret societies are real. The documentary evidence proves their existence, from the (adjective)_____________________ (noun)_____________________ Wisdom society of the ancient Arabs and the Mythraic Mysteries cults in Greece to the modern-day (adjective)_____________________ Hammer of Starry (noun)_____________________ in Europe. They are typically based on a core of secret knowledge, passed down from one generation of members to the next through (adjective)_____________________ initiation ceremonies in clandestine (type of building)_____________________s across the globe. Although the details are masked in secrecy, all these groups share a singular belief at their core – a belief in a (animal)_____________________-like deity that demands (human organ)_____________________s, and abhors (benign action)_____________________.
Armed with this sword of knowledge, we can see the emanations of this (animal)_____________________-god in every aspect of modern American life. President Obama signals his allegiance to it in nearly every public appearance – watch closely, you’ll see him (verb)_____________________ his left (body part)_____________________ three times – three being the number they use to symbolize the (adjective)_____________________ mission of their lord. Pop culture is also suffused with their symbolism – (name of female pop star)_____________________ might as well wear a sign around her neck.
We hope this knowledge will help you in your daily fight against (abstract concept)_____________________, and help you to spot the acolytes of this (animal)_____________________-god.